Archive for the ‘Child Rearing’ Category

3 May

She Doesn’t Know Any Different

Posted by Crunchy Hot Mama in Baby, Celiac Disease, Child Rearing, Crunchy, Food, Gluten-Free, Paleo. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

I almost titled this post, ‘She doesn’t know any better,’ but thought that wouldn’t be fair.

I wanted to do a post talking about the way Emma eats.  Those crunchy people out there won’t really be surprised at what she eats, but most people I’ve encountered are shocked and maybe a little disgusted at what she eats, what she’s allowed to eat, and what is not mama-approved.  Don’t get me wrong, we don’t eat the way I would prefer 100% of the time, after all I am human (and prego) so I allow myself off the hook now and then.

During this first trimester, though, all I wanted was junk and tons of food.  My nutritionist told me my body wanted protein-I randomly craved grass-fed burgers and couldn’t seem to get enough of them!  Luckily, I’m not eating like a savage through the second trimester, but I do have to force myself to eat more greens.  I was told I should have 3 cups of greens a day (I think that goes for everyone), and still struggle to get that much in.

pasta fun

As for Emma, she’s pretty good at what I feed her.  When I make breakfast: eggs, bacon, and sautéed spinach, she usually steals my serving and ends up asking for more.  She’ll even go to the fridge and ask if we can have sardines for breakfast, knowing there are leftovers in the fridge from the day before.  Most will balk at the thought of sardines (and I even have to force myself to eat them) especially for a 2-year old, but she doesn’t know they’re supposed to be nasty.  I figure if I start her early on good sources of calcium, since we don’t do dairy, they we can stave off the osteoporosis that runs in my family.  I was devastated when I found out I had osteopenia at 28, so this mama could learn a thing or two from the wee little one.

sardines

What got me to this point in how I feed her were a few reasons.  When I read Primal Body, Primal Mind a year and a half ago, my world was turned upside down!  I learned what our food does to us, good and bad, and knew that I needed to start her on the right path STAT.  There seems to be too much junk in our food supply these days and I feel like we’re setting up our kids for illness down the road (or even sooner).  I wanted to give her a fighting chance at setting the stage now, knowing I can’t control what she eats forever.

The kicker for me was probably her first birthday.  Mind you, we were all still eating grains back then, but I struggled what to do when it came time to celebrate her turning one.  She never had sugar, unless it was fruit, in the first year of her life, so why in the world would I set a big, sugar-laden cake/cupcake in front of her for the sake of pictures?  It honestly was abhorrent to me.  I’m not here to judge what others do, this is the thinking that goes on in my over-analyzing brain.

Emma's cake

So, I settled on making her a Hummingbird cake (read more in this post).  I fretted all the way until I set the homemade cake in front of her.  Would she like it?  Would she eat the whole thing?  Was I a terrible mother for offering this to her when her system was still so fragile?  Ironically, she wanted nothing to do with it!  It could have been that she wasn’t feeling well, was over-tired, or didn’t like getting dirty, like her daddy.  Either way, I was relieved.  Yes, I just admitted I was happy that my one-year-old didn’t want sugar on her birthday, what can I say.

Emma being green

I would even go to the extremes of bringing her food everywhere, or asking waiters for the best possible thing she could have on the menu, like sliced avocado or steamed veggies.  That’s not to say I ate the best then, but since she’s older and will want what I am having, I live by this motto:

“If I wouldn’t give it to my child, why should I eat it?”

Is it a bit extreme?  Maybe.  But that’s okay for me.  It’s actually made me eat and drink better.  Emma and I only consume water, hot herbal tea, and Kombucha.  I don’t care to have sodas or sweet tea, knowing they cost more when eating out and do ZERO things for my body.  I have to admit, once you kick the sugar habit you A) don’t want it anymore and B) will find sweet things are way too sweet.  It’s been a win-win for me.

Emma eating dairy free chocolate ice cream

My other motto is ‘Kids are blank slates, so why not expose them to the world?‘  They don’t know what’s supposed to be gross or nasty at this young age.  Just because some adults don’t eat Kipper, capers, or kale chips, doesn’t mean the child needs to dislike them without being exposed to them.  Emma doesn’t know what chicken nuggets, soda, or candy are and I intend to keep it that way for a long time.  I want to educate her that food is fuel for our bodies and can also hurt them at the same time.  I constantly tell her that water is good for us because it keeps us hydrated and cleans out the body.  Ya’ll know I over-explain things to her, but I guarantee she understands and is filing it away for the future.  It’s sometimes scary what kids will remember!

Emma eating bone marrow

This way of thinking has led us down a really exciting road.  Our whole family is trying things I never had considered before: collard greens, sorrel, kohlrabi, sardines, bone marrow, Kombucha, organ meats, etc.  I have to say it’s been fun branching out into a world I never knew.  I know it helps going to Farmer’s Markets or local shops and asking the growers what certain foods are and how to prepare them.  What’s even better, is with Emma being so young I can set in her mind that these foods are good for her and actually tasty.  I know this will carry through with her as she starts cooking with me and when she goes out on her own.  I figure I owe it to her as her mother to set a solid foundation.  Maybe I’m a little obsessed with food, but that’s been my life ever since getting diagnosed with celiac disease over 30 years ago, so I can’t help it!

Chef Emma

Yikes!  I had no idea this post would be this lengthy, but this topic is very important to me.  Food does so many positive and negative things for our body, that if I can give my family the best possible choices, we might have a fighting chance at not getting cancers and having good health in general.

What about you?  Am I alone in this venture?  Do you feed your kids any ‘crazy’ foods?  My hope is that this gets you thinking and exploring with your kids-I promise it’s never too late to set them on the healthy path!

PS-I’d like to send a shout out to my mama (Emma’s Nonna), who’s 35 years young today!  Happy Birthday to the most amazing and beautiful woman I know!

Nonna & Emma

11 Jan

I Am Not Superwoman

Posted by Crunchy Hot Mama in Child Rearing, Crunchy. Tagged: , .

I know this may be hard for some to believe, especially those who really know me, but it’s true.  I am not Superwoman.  I want to believe I can do it all (craft, homemake everything, exercise, etc.) while keeping it all together, but alas I cannot.  I grew up doing so many activities, that maybe I believed I could still do them well into adulthood.  Needless to say, it is catching up to me.

superwoman

Motherhood is more than I expected.  Yes, I know you become a parent and life changes, I get that.  BUT I didn’t know it would be this difficult to adjust, especially as I venture deeper into my crunchy world.  I wish I could make everything I eat, lather on, and wear, but I can’t.  I will give it my best shot to make our food with the best ingredients, because that’s important to me, but I know it won’t be 100% all the time.  That’s not to say I can’t try, but I think the solution here is to prioritize.

I need to figure out what’s important and work from there.  There is a HUGE chance I will have to say ‘no’ to some activity, position, or commitment that someone asks for my help on, and it will kill me.  Can I get there?  Honestly, I’m not sure.  I was just telling Josh tonight that I don’t know how those full-time working mamas do it, let alone the single parents-God Bless ‘Em!  I feel like being at home with Emma is a full-time job and then some, and yet the house should be sparkling clean because I am home.  As you can guess, it is not.

unclean house

The feeling I get staying at home, is that I work where I sleep.  My hubby, while being overloaded, too, gets to leave his office and come home.  That’s not to say he doesn’t bring work home, or stay up late working, because he often does.  But at least he goes to another closed space different environment.  One where a little person runs up to you, hugs your leg while yelling ‘dadddddyyyy!!’ and makes your terrible day go away, even for a minute.  (That same person has talked my ear off alllll day, spilled chicken broth on my new laptop, and screamed bloody murder for not getting what she wanted!)  I love staying at home with Emma, and I’m not trying to complain, but since I’m with her all.the.time, it feels like she is an extension of me instead of another member of our household.

proud papa

I can see why some mama’s put their kids in activities, or send them off to Mother’s Day Out, even for just a few hours of sanity.  But then I start to feel guilty.  I just can’t justify spending my hubby’s our money so little bit can go off for half a day so I can fart around.  How did mamas do it back then?  Did they have the resources to ‘send their kid off,’ or did they have to buck up and git ‘er done?

I know I have overcommitted myself and for some reason just.can’t.stop.  I’m sure there’s a zillion books out there talking about putting God and family first, but I can’t seem to swing this balancing act.  Some days I feel a schedule would help, and it probably would, but I either don’t know where to start or am lazy (or both).  I even think Emma could benefit from a schedule, but since I can’t get my shist together, I definitely can’t get her into a finite routine.

pondering the meaning of life

So what’s a mama to do?  I honestly don’t know.  I dream of moving to the country for a slower pace of life, but I know that won’t make a difference, especially if I can’t get it together now.  My hubby and I have talked round and round about what we NEED to do, but in the end, do nada.  What gives?  How do you people out there do it or do you?  I’m sure I’m not alone, but I desperately need insight, tips, a kick in the rear, and/or a drink.

Note: Photos from here and here.

29 Sep

Great Expectations: Talking And Signing With Your Child

Posted by Crunchy Hot Mama in Baby, Books, Gardening, Child Rearing. Tagged: , , , , , .

I have to gush a little bit.

Emma and I just completed our 2nd shift at our work share this week and was given a very nice complement.  My friend Casey happened to be working the farm as well and once Emma saw her, she just walked right over and sat down.  Emma loves my girlfriends and for some strange reason likes to pet them.  Don’t ask.  It was time for me to get to work, so I asked Emma if she wanted to come plant kale with me across the field, and she said no.  She had decided to stay and ‘play’ with Casey.  No biggie.

Casey had to leave half an hour after we got there, so after planting I went over to get Emma.  I asked how it went (and happen to catch Emma putting the lettuce in the hole Casey had dug) and was told she did good!  Casey continued to say that Emma is actually enjoyable to be around.  They even had a conversation about Emma’s favorite vegetables (strawberries then peanuts) while passing the time together.  Casey volunteers in a church on Sunday and deals with a boat load of toddlers, so I thought that’s pretty good to hear for a two-year-old.

Now don’t get me wrong, Emma has tantrums and fits like the rest of them.  She also goes limp when I try to put clothes on her and will test the waters on hitting now and then.  BUT, the girl minds pretty well for going through toddler transitions and seeing what she can get away with.  I also vowed to call them the ‘Totally Awesome Twos’ since I want to have a better mindset going into her third year of life.  I figure if I expect the twos to be awesome then MAYBE they will.  Don’t worry, I’m not that naïve but I try to not contend with the norm.

Now I will say, I’m a pretty laid back mom for a 1st timer.  I feel very safe when Emma is with other people, whom I trust, and I don’t fret when Josh and I go away somewhere together.  I also encourage her to go play in the dirt and try not to say ‘be careful’ but instead ‘watch out’ or ‘let’s not do that.’  I never thought I’d be this way but I guess seeing other people’s parenting has helped me over the years.  I took some bits here and there from others (without them or me noticing) and came up with my own concoction style.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a reader.  That’s where I get most of my inspiration from and it’s not uncommon to hear me say ‘today I read something about ____.’  And along with reading a lot, I’m easily influenced…which can be good and bad.

After giving birth to Emma, just 10 short months after we were married, I became a different person.  Yes, I know becoming a parent does that to you, but it was the feeling of ‘we weren’t planning to have a kid just yet and now I’m growing a baby and about to become a mama-here we go!’  Whatever I thought I knew or read just went out the window, cuz a baby changes everything.

A flip was suddenly switched and I was crunchy!  Not in the hardcore sense, but in a way of I wanted to try different approaches of rearing our child.  Basically, I had no expectations.  Wait.  Maybe I had higher expectations.

I wasn’t very good at the baby talk.  That seemed weird for me, so I talked to her like a person since that just felt right.  I constantly pointed things out to her and narrated what I was doing.  At six months old, I told her ‘Emma you need to lay still, mommy’s going to suction your nose to help you feel better,’ and she just stayed still while I did my thang.  No kid likes getting their nose suctioned, but you can’t blame them for throwing a fit when you come at them with some device that they think is sucking out their brains!  So I thought, why not just tell her what I’m doing and why I’m doing it.  Seemed logical to me.

This way of thinking carried through to the one year mark.  In my mind when babies turned one, I thought they began speaking.  How was I to know that wasn’t the case?  I’ve been around kids but didn’t remember their milestones and when they were ‘supposed’ to happen.  I will say, ‘What to Expect the First Year‘ was a good guide for us but I kind of skimmed over it once Emma turned one.

I went back and forth on if I wanted to sign with her as I heard mixed reviews on delayed speech.  But when the pediatrician said she once saw a mother and child hold a 50 word conversation in signs, that went out the window.  We did some basic signing: milk, more, please, all done, water, thank you, etc.  The part I think some parents forget to do is actually say the word(s) along with what they are doing.  I’ve fallen victim to saying ‘Do you want this?’ and grabbing what she was pointing at without ever saying the actual word.

We made it a point to say/explain EVERYTHING that was going on.  I even had to constantly remind Josh to clarify what ‘that’ was or narrate what he was doing.  I did the Your Baby Can Read videos and flash cards from about 7 months on and tried my best to watch it with her and repeat everything she was seeing.  Suffice it to say, Emma talks.  A lot.  It probably didn’t help that my parents called me Maggie the Magpie growing up.

I am also in the habit of having her say all sorts of words and in different languages.  I would say a word like ‘accoutrement’ (ac-cou-tre-ment: French for accessories) then ask if she could say it or get her to sound it out.  She could because I didn’t think it was too big for her.  We would walk around outside or in the mall/zoo/store and I would ask her to say all sorts of words.  She never said no because I think she was genuinely interested in learning.  These kids are little sponges and willing to soak up all they can, if the opportunity is presented.

So get out there and talk to your kids!  Explain every.single.thing-the world is open to them if you encourage it.  Don’t think they are dumb or too young to understand…they are SO much smarter than we give them street cred credit for.  Just because they may not be able to speak doesn’t mean they’re not comprehending it all.

To add to that, I also taught Emma the correct names for the body parts, and I intend to explain to her about the birds and the bees when the time comes.  I guess I would rather be the source of her information than some kids at school or the TV.  Just sayin’.

I know, I know, I could go on forever with what kids are capable of but I think I’ll stop here.  I hope you are inspired to teach your child(ren) the world and all that is has to offer.  We are their first and most influential teachers, so let’s show ‘em what we got!

Magpie out!

31 May

Love and Logic

Posted by Crunchy Hot Mama in Baby, Books, Child Rearing, Natural Parenting. Tagged: , , , , , .

I know I’ve been on the gardening/green kick lately, so let’s switch gears and get back to bébé…

Last month my sis flew in from Houston to attend a Love and Logic seminar with me here in Grapevine, TX.  It was yet another one of those, I had heard people using it and kind of got the gist of it from my friend Sheri, and I have to say it is the best.decision.we.ever.made for raising Emma!  Basically parenting with Love and Logic is ’an approach to raising kids that provides loving support from parents while at the same time expecting kids to be respectful and responsible.’  They don’t believe in spanking and don’t do time-out, though you are able to put the kid in another room for a period of time or just remove them from the situation.

Love and Logic is a philosophy founded in 1977 by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, M.D. It is the approach of choice among leading educators, parents, and other professionals worldwide.

If you don’t believe me, ask my friend who told me her teacher friends were shocked that I picked the Love and Logic seminar over going to the zoo (whaa?).  She claimed a teacher would thank me later for going and getting started early.  It seemed like a no brainer at the time…gotta get baby girl on the right track PRONTO!

The basic concept is about giving kids choices which enables them to feel heard; even when they are very little.  For example, when Emma was about 6 months old, I would hold up two onesies for her to choose from to wear for the day.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to say that she told me which one she wanted, because she didn’t (but that would be amazing!).  At my friend’s advice, I followed her eyes and where ever they looked, that was the winner.  I know it sounds silly but really it’s just clothes so I figure Emma deciding what to wear was the least of my worries.

Another few examples of how we use Love and Logic: when Emma started eating foods at around 6 months and she got the hang of throwing the food down or dropping the sippy cup on purpose, we either removed her from the situation (eating) or became a onetime drop mama/papa (the sippy cup).  Homey Mama don’t play that ‘how many times can I drop my sippy cup and watch mama pick it up’ game.  No dice.  And now that she is soon-to-be two, and plays the games of ‘no like it’ with dinner (and dresses) or gets down from her chair at a restaurant, so sad, someone is going to be very hungry.

Don’t fret, it’s not like you are going to starve your kid, it’s getting them to understand and respect that meal time is just that-time to eat and enjoy each other’s company.  If they don’t like it or play around with their food for forever, you set a timer and once that timer dings, the meal is over.  Guess they’ll just have to wait until the next meal which is sometimes the next day.  Trust me, they learn pretty quickly (or so I hope) that mama’s not monkeying around.

The reality is that if you give them choices now and have them deal with the consequences while they’re little, when they get older they will be wise enough to make responsible decisions.

The Love and Logic technique in action sounds like this:

Dad: “Oh, no. You left your bike unlocked and it was stolen. What a bummer. I bet you feel awful. Well, I understand how easy it is to make a mistake like that.” (Notice that the parent is not leading with anger, intimidation, or threats.)

Dad then adds, “And you’ll have another bike as soon as you can earn enough money to pay for it. I paid for the first one. You can pay for the additional ones.”

Love and Logic parents know that no child is going to accept this without an argument, but Love and Logic parents can handle arguments. Jim Fay advises “just go brain dead.” This means that parents don’t try to argue or match wits with the child. They simply repeat, as many times as necessary, “I love you too much to argue.” No matter what argument the child uses, the parent responds “I love you too much to argue.” Parents who learn how to use these techniques completely change, for the better, their relationships with kids and take control of the home in loving ways.

Does is sound a bit extreme for you?  It did for me at first but then it started to make sense.  I want Emma to feel heard yet at the same time let her know I’m the adult and ultimately make the final decisions.  My hubby recently asked how we are supposed to do the night-night time ritual after giving her so many choices throughout the day (thankfully he was on board from the get-go).  I told him, if baby girl tries to fight and say ‘but I want to go to bed in 10 minutes instead of now,’ I calmly remind her that ‘you made a lot of choices today didn’t you?’  ‘Well now it’s my turn and it’s night-night time.’  End of story.

I have to say the hardest part is following through.  I’m not going to pretend like I stick to my guns every time but I have been getting better at it lately.  I have to tell myself, I just told her no more blueberries-after she just ate about 20 of them-and stand firm by my statement.  I do notice that if I say they’re all gone or you ate them all, she’ll usually give up.  Thank goodness because I probably would have caved in another millisecond.  I guess it’s never too early to learn we can’t always get what we want.  Would be nice though, huh?

The other big factor I like about Love and Logic is that kids get to A) make mistakes and B) learn how to deal with them at an early age.  I love my parents and appreciate all they did for me but wish I was able to fail/fall on my butt when I was younger.  I think it would have helped me make better decisions once I became an adult…especially in regards to money.

The takeaway here is if you are looking for an alternative to spanking (I was somewhat onboard since I was spanked) and want a fun and different way to rear your child, check out Love and Logic.  They have a plethora of resources for any age and cater to different parenting styles.  My mom and sis got me the Early Childhood Package for Christmas 2 years ago and it was a great investment start.

They also have an Insider’s Club where you can get emails with their tips and how to handle specific situations.  You can even call their toll-free number (1-800-338-4065) if you are stuck and need help with a solution.  Seriously, you definitely can’t go wrong here!  Check it out if you’re curious and don’t dare think it’s too late to start; your child and their teachers will thank you.  PS: They even have a Marriage-Love and Logic book which I picked up at the seminar…I figure it couldn’t hurt.

Have you ever heard of this technique or do you practice it now?  What has worked for you in rearing your wee little ones or are you at your wits’ end and need a drink different solution?

Note: I wasn’t paid or perked for this.  The pictures are from here and here.

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