Archive for May, 2012

31 May

Love and Logic

Posted by Crunchy Hot Mama in Baby, Books, Child Rearing, Natural Parenting. Tagged: , , , , , .

I know I’ve been on the gardening/green kick lately, so let’s switch gears and get back to bébé…

Last month my sis flew in from Houston to attend a Love and Logic seminar with me here in Grapevine, TX.  It was yet another one of those, I had heard people using it and kind of got the gist of it from my friend Sheri, and I have to say it is the best.decision.we.ever.made for raising Emma!  Basically parenting with Love and Logic is ’an approach to raising kids that provides loving support from parents while at the same time expecting kids to be respectful and responsible.’  They don’t believe in spanking and don’t do time-out, though you are able to put the kid in another room for a period of time or just remove them from the situation.

Love and Logic is a philosophy founded in 1977 by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, M.D. It is the approach of choice among leading educators, parents, and other professionals worldwide.

If you don’t believe me, ask my friend who told me her teacher friends were shocked that I picked the Love and Logic seminar over going to the zoo (whaa?).  She claimed a teacher would thank me later for going and getting started early.  It seemed like a no brainer at the time…gotta get baby girl on the right track PRONTO!

The basic concept is about giving kids choices which enables them to feel heard; even when they are very little.  For example, when Emma was about 6 months old, I would hold up two onesies for her to choose from to wear for the day.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to say that she told me which one she wanted, because she didn’t (but that would be amazing!).  At my friend’s advice, I followed her eyes and where ever they looked, that was the winner.  I know it sounds silly but really it’s just clothes so I figure Emma deciding what to wear was the least of my worries.

Another few examples of how we use Love and Logic: when Emma started eating foods at around 6 months and she got the hang of throwing the food down or dropping the sippy cup on purpose, we either removed her from the situation (eating) or became a onetime drop mama/papa (the sippy cup).  Homey Mama don’t play that ‘how many times can I drop my sippy cup and watch mama pick it up’ game.  No dice.  And now that she is soon-to-be two, and plays the games of ‘no like it’ with dinner (and dresses) or gets down from her chair at a restaurant, so sad, someone is going to be very hungry.

Don’t fret, it’s not like you are going to starve your kid, it’s getting them to understand and respect that meal time is just that-time to eat and enjoy each other’s company.  If they don’t like it or play around with their food for forever, you set a timer and once that timer dings, the meal is over.  Guess they’ll just have to wait until the next meal which is sometimes the next day.  Trust me, they learn pretty quickly (or so I hope) that mama’s not monkeying around.

The reality is that if you give them choices now and have them deal with the consequences while they’re little, when they get older they will be wise enough to make responsible decisions.

The Love and Logic technique in action sounds like this:

Dad: “Oh, no. You left your bike unlocked and it was stolen. What a bummer. I bet you feel awful. Well, I understand how easy it is to make a mistake like that.” (Notice that the parent is not leading with anger, intimidation, or threats.)

Dad then adds, “And you’ll have another bike as soon as you can earn enough money to pay for it. I paid for the first one. You can pay for the additional ones.”

Love and Logic parents know that no child is going to accept this without an argument, but Love and Logic parents can handle arguments. Jim Fay advises “just go brain dead.” This means that parents don’t try to argue or match wits with the child. They simply repeat, as many times as necessary, “I love you too much to argue.” No matter what argument the child uses, the parent responds “I love you too much to argue.” Parents who learn how to use these techniques completely change, for the better, their relationships with kids and take control of the home in loving ways.

Does is sound a bit extreme for you?  It did for me at first but then it started to make sense.  I want Emma to feel heard yet at the same time let her know I’m the adult and ultimately make the final decisions.  My hubby recently asked how we are supposed to do the night-night time ritual after giving her so many choices throughout the day (thankfully he was on board from the get-go).  I told him, if baby girl tries to fight and say ‘but I want to go to bed in 10 minutes instead of now,’ I calmly remind her that ‘you made a lot of choices today didn’t you?’  ‘Well now it’s my turn and it’s night-night time.’  End of story.

I have to say the hardest part is following through.  I’m not going to pretend like I stick to my guns every time but I have been getting better at it lately.  I have to tell myself, I just told her no more blueberries-after she just ate about 20 of them-and stand firm by my statement.  I do notice that if I say they’re all gone or you ate them all, she’ll usually give up.  Thank goodness because I probably would have caved in another millisecond.  I guess it’s never too early to learn we can’t always get what we want.  Would be nice though, huh?

The other big factor I like about Love and Logic is that kids get to A) make mistakes and B) learn how to deal with them at an early age.  I love my parents and appreciate all they did for me but wish I was able to fail/fall on my butt when I was younger.  I think it would have helped me make better decisions once I became an adult…especially in regards to money.

The takeaway here is if you are looking for an alternative to spanking (I was somewhat onboard since I was spanked) and want a fun and different way to rear your child, check out Love and Logic.  They have a plethora of resources for any age and cater to different parenting styles.  My mom and sis got me the Early Childhood Package for Christmas 2 years ago and it was a great investment start.

They also have an Insider’s Club where you can get emails with their tips and how to handle specific situations.  You can even call their toll-free number (1-800-338-4065) if you are stuck and need help with a solution.  Seriously, you definitely can’t go wrong here!  Check it out if you’re curious and don’t dare think it’s too late to start; your child and their teachers will thank you.  PS: They even have a Marriage-Love and Logic book which I picked up at the seminar…I figure it couldn’t hurt.

Have you ever heard of this technique or do you practice it now?  What has worked for you in rearing your wee little ones or are you at your wits’ end and need a drink different solution?

Note: I wasn’t paid or perked for this.  The pictures are from here and here.

8 May

Celiac Disease Awareness

Posted by Crunchy Hot Mama in Gluten-Free, Paleo. Tagged: , , , , .

In honor of Celiac Disease Awareness Month, I thought it only fitting to talk about the groups/organizations that exist out there.

Since 2006, I have been an active member in our local group, the Gluten Intolerance Group (GIG) of Greater Dallas, and have loved seeing people connect with one another at each meeting and event.  So often we hear that when people come to meetings they expect to see ‘weird-looking’ folks and are relieved to discover they are normal people like themselves.  For some strange reason we think those of us with this ’aliment’ will somehow look like aliens different.  Nope, sorry to disappoint.  You won’t be able to pick us out from a police lineup anytime soon.

I felt it was my calling to reach out to people and support them as they begin this new journey of their lives, because I have pretty much seen it all.  When I was diagnosed in 1982, my medical records stated that ‘Since this is a lifelong disease, Jessica will need to adhere to a diet which avoids gluten/gliadin.  This will eliminate wheat, barley, rye, and oats from her diet.’  The Pediatric Gastro also advised my parents to go lactose free for 2 to 3 months, then reintroduce after that period of time.  I think it’s nuts that they knew about celiac disease even back then!  It was actually my pediatrician who diagnosed me saying it was either Celiac Disease or Cystic Fibrosis due to my distended stomach and foul-smelling stools (sorry the truth stinks).  And the irony in all this was that he ended up having celiac disease after a number of years!  Craziness.

I do have to give props to my parents BIG TIME.  They went through more than I can ever imagine, from trying to read labels (before ingredient lists existed) to telling Burger King that I didn’t want a bun on my burger.  The employees couldn’t wrap their heads around the concept of just throwing the bun away, if need be, ’cause I could not eat it.  I can even remember when Josh and I stopped at an Arby’s in a tiny town, some few years back, and they didn’t have those automated order screens in them parts just yet.  After placing my order, the cook in the back says: ‘Whaddya mean no bun?’  Cashier: ‘She don’t want no bun?’  Cook: ‘No bun?’  Me: ‘NO BUN!’  Ha!  I can laugh about it now but it wasn’t always easy.

After I graduated from Texas A&M, I moved to Dallas to be with Josh and was googling ‘celiac support groups dallas,’ when I came across this group.

We are a branch of the main organization Gluten Intolerance Group of North America and they have branches all over the US.  If you are in need of some support, check to see if they have one by you, and if not, and you are inspired to make a difference…start your own!  It’s a great way to meet new people and get connected.  I swear almost every time I’m out with new people, celiac disease, gluten intolerance, or Autism spectrum seem to come up.  I don’t normally introduce myself by saying, ‘Hi, My name is Jess and I’m an alcoholic celiac,’ but inevitably my allergy does come up, and then 2 or 3 people chime in that they have a friend or child who is gluten-free, etc.  It really is a small world after all.

GIG isn’t the only group out there though; a few other popular ones are the Celiac Disease Foundation (CDF) and the Celiac Sprue Association (CSA).  They all have great causes and are in this fight together to get celiac disease and gluten intolerance diagnosed quickly and properly (instead of it taking 7 years) and to educate the population, doctors, and health individuals included.

For every 1 person diagnosed with gluten intolerance, 80 people are undiagnosed.

I can tell you from my experience, that NOW is the time to get diagnosed–I even had a doctor from Australia quote me on that!  There is so much information out there and products that literally duplicate every.single.gluten-infested.item on the shelf, that it’s no longer a rarity.  When I meet new people and they have just been diagnosed, they ask ‘What can I eat?’ and I tell them start with meat, fruits, and veggies then go from there.  I have FINALLY taken my own advice, after a decade, and now consume those items sans packaged foods since going Paleo.

Alrighty then, no excuses!  Get out there and do your research.  If you don’t feel well and doctors are telling you you’re crazy, find another one until you get the results you want.  Seek out local support groups if you just want someone to talk to or need help finding reputable doctors.  There are a number of labs that will do gene, stool, and/or blood testing, like EnteroLab and Cyrex Labs, that can help give you more information.

There you have it, a brief insight into my celiac journey.  And now it’s your turn.  Do you have celiac disease or gluten intolerance or know someone who does?  What was the struggle/journey like?  I know there are people out there who are bitter and hate this diagnosis or will cheat ’cause it won’t kill you (yes it will!) but I have to say I don’t mind it.  I monitor every single item I put in my body and couldn’t be luckier.  Yup, I get to say that because I have 30 years behind my belt and I finally feel the best I have ever felt in my entire life!

Note: photos from here and here.

2 May

Composting: 3 Ways

Posted by Crunchy Hot Mama in Green. Tagged: , , , .

I don’t know if it’s the latest craze or not, but I jumped on the compost bandwagon a little over a year and have loved it!  For those who don’t know, composting is a means of putting kitchens scraps and biodegradable items into a pile or bin with some dry materials, like leaves or shredded paper, in order for it to break down into nutrient-rich soil.  This soil can then be used in gardening: as a soil conditioner, fertilizer, and natural pesticide.  It is also useful for erosion control, wetland construction, and as a landfill cover.  Basically it’s good stuff and keeps 70% of your household waste out of our landfills.

I personally hated to see all my scraps go into the trash knowing I COULD just toss them outside to decompose so they could go back into the land they came out of.  And ever since my family went paleo in November, I pretty much cook 3 squares a day from scratch, which means LOTS of scraps to be had.  I knew the random pile would be an unsightly mess, so when I came across this post from Young House Love, I was inspired to make a compost bin myself.  Let me tell ya-it was super easy!  I don’t know if it was smart to start it in the winter but when I get a task set in my mind, there’s no holding back (just ask my hubby)!  There are basically 3 ways that most people compost and I will show you each one adding my pros and cons.

The first composting I did was in a plastic bin in the corner of our backyard.

You will want to get you a good-sized bin to start of with.  As you can tell, mine was during the holiday season, so I chose the green and red variety since it was the size I was looking for.  And since I did this over a year ago I don’t have the breakdown to show you how I made it, but I will post how they did each step on YHL; or you can head over there yourself if you’re a visual learner like me.

Step 1: Recycle or buy a plastic bin with a tight-fitting lid about 24 inches tall or taller (it needs a lid to keep the soil moist and to keep critters out). They picked up this Rubbermaid version at Lowe’s for $7 in hopes that the neutral color would help it blend in with their backyard.

Step 2: Use a drill to make 8 – 10 small holes in the bottom of the container for aeration purposes.

Step 3: Place some shredded newspaper or dry leaves on the bottom of your compost bin, filling it about 1/8 – 1/4 full.

Step 4: Place dirt on top of the leaves or newspaper until the container is 1/2 full.

Step 5: Now place any food scraps or paper products that you’d like to compost. Check out this list and this crazy list for a pretty complete run down of what you can and can’t compost. Surprisingly, things like lint, hair, and eggshells are compost friendly, while lime (too acidic) and dog “waste” (could carry disease) are off-limits. So far they only collected a couple of banana peels and a small ball of lint.

Step 6: Give your compost a little stir with a shovel or stick, making sure to cover your food scraps with dirt.

Step 7: Spray with lukewarm water until moist, but not soaking wet. (Note: too much water can be the culprit if your compost starts to smell).

Step 8: Use a drill to make 8 – 10 small holes in the lid and place it securely on top of the bin.

Step 9: Place the bin in a shady area away from the house (if you live in an apartment or have no backyard you can place your bin on the patio). Be sure that it’s not in full sun or your compost will dry out.

Step 10: Now that your compost bin is set up, you can just add food scraps when you’ve got ‘em, making sure to give things a stir each time (mixing the compost helps break everything down faster). And to aid in your collection of stuff to compost, they’ve added a special “compost” receptacle under the sink (along with our existing recycling and garbage containers). Gotta love a no-fail way to get in the compost habit.

Here is mine after a year or so of just sitting and decomposing. It looks a little dry because I opened the lid to let it air out a bit in the hot Texas sun and to help get rid of the gnats.  And now that my compost is ready I have been using it to mix with the potting soil to make my small container garden.  Success!

This is my latest composting beast; an 80-gallon tumbler I found at Costco for $100 (pricey, I know).

It was my hubby’s idea since he was tired of the space the bin took up and thought this might be easier for me to turn (the bin was tough even with not much in it).  I’m still in the process of letting it decompose but it’s hard because I constantly have scraps to put in there so it would be nice to try the new double tumbler that Costco is coming out with this month-so you can have one breaking down while the other gets fed scraps.  So far, I am liking the ease of dropping in my scraps and turning with the nifty handles they added on each side.

I will note that when I had my bin, I use to store scraps in a plastic container on the counter until it was full.  That was about the time it started to mold from the condensation and get funk nasty.  What I do now is store them in a designated bowl in the fridge, and once that’s full, I make the trek out to the tumbler-usually every other day or so.

A third option (though I know there are several others like worm composting) is the compost pile.

My friend Denise, whom I’ve known since the Jr. High tennis days, has done a compost pile to go along with her gorgeous garden.  I asked her a few questions to see what inspired her to go green.

1) What prompted you to start composting?  What did your hubby say?

I wanted to start composting because I noticed that I could reduce my trash load by over half if I started saving all of my vegetable scraps.  My hubby is supportive of any environmentally friendly things I want to do around the house, but still loves to tease me that I am such a nerd about it!

2) How did you decide on the option/container that you did? Was is cost, convenience, or ease?

I first started my compost bin when I lived in a 3 story townhome.  I used a container on the balcony to keep all of my scraps.  After a visit to Home Depot, one of the employees recommended I use Blood Meal to help stimulate breakdown and microorganism reproduction.  However, I noticed black arthropod looking worms everywhere!  It was hard to turn the contents of the bin on the balcony, and the bin wasn’t breaking down fast enough.

Shortly after, we bought our first house and I decided to make a pile.   It was much easier to use and since it was outside, I didn’t have to worry about how “messy” it was.  I still wish I had multiple bins (instead of 1 large bin) because it is still hard to turn, and I can’t get down to the broken down dirt at the bottom of the pile.

I would really like to get a commercial compost bin that turns so that I can help speed up the process and keep the amount of my pile manageable, but I don’t want to pay $100+ for it!

3) How/where do you store your scraps until it’s time to put them in the pile?

I have a small compost pail that I keep under my kitchen sink that I throw all of my freshly used scraps in.  When I remember to, I take the pail outside and add it to the pile.

4) What tips or new findings did you discover as to different items that can be composted?

As I mentioned before, I go to Starbucks and ask them for a bag of their coffee grinds to add to my pile.  It helps with the pH level of the pile and makes the best soil when it breaks down.
I also add organic Blood Meal occasionally to add nitrogen to the pile.  *Thanks to her tip, I stopped by a local Starbucks and got a huge bag of coffee grounds and tossed them in the tumbler when I got home…sure made my trunk smell good!

5) Since composting, has anyone else you know been inspired to start their own or do they think you are crunchy?

Most people just think I am “crunchy”!  Hey, that’s not a bad thing!

6) Any advice to someone who is looking into composting but think it’s beyond them?

Composting is easy and will reduce the amount of waste you produce tremendously. 

Yowza!  That sure was a whole lotta talk about trash…but I think it’s a good one. 

Alright, now it’s your turn to talk trash to me.  Do you compost or have you thought you’d like to try it but were too intimidated?  Now you have three different methods to choose from and I guarantee there are a thousand more ways to get your compost on (see Pinterest or Google for ideas).  So give it a shot!  No excuses peeps.  Let’s all do our part to save the landfill and environment one scrap at a time.

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